My Dog Has Better Social Skills Than Me

October 17Oct 17

My Dog Has Better Social Skills Than Me.
By BrotherKris

It all started when I got invited to the most “exclusive” BBQ in my neighborhood .
the kind where people casually sip craft sodas and nod at each other like their lives are a perfectly edited Instagram reel.
Naturally, I panicked. I stared at my wardrobe for 20 minutes and ultimately decided on socks that didn’t match, a T-shirt with a suspicious stain, and sneakers that squeak like an old dog toy. Classy.

I arrived ten minutes late, hoping to slide in unnoticed, but my dog Baxter had other plans.
He bolted out of the car before I even had a chance to lock it, tail high, eyes gleaming with mischief and charm.
He immediately sniffed the host’s expensive shoes, wagged at every child, and somehow ended up perched on a lap like a furry VIP.
Meanwhile, I tripped over the garden hose and fell face-first into a pile of napkins.

As I tried to recover,
Baxter somehow managed to make friends with every person in sight.
Someone handed him a grilled sausage, another offered him a sip of sparkling water (he refused politely), and a little girl named him “Sir Wag-a-lot.”.
I, on the other hand, spent ten minutes awkwardly explaining why I had brought a bag of chips instead of a fancy casserole, only to have someone ask if that was all I brought.
My cheeks turned red, my dignity evaporated, and Baxter wagged his tail at me in pure judgment.

Things escalated when Baxter found the sprinkler.
Instead of avoiding it, he galloped through the spray like it was a victory parade.
Drinks spilled. Someone screamed. I tried to intervene but slipped again — this time knocking over a folding chair and accidentally flinging a hot dog into my neighbor’s artisanal salad. Baxter, unimpressed, trotted back to my lap and licked my face, as if to say, “You’re hopeless, but don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

Then came the ultimate chaos: the inflatable kiddie pool.
Baxter dove in headfirst, splashing water and plastic ducks everywhere.
I tried to rescue my dignity by suggesting he get out, but he ignored me entirely, shaking off like a tiny furry tsunami and soaking everyone within a ten-foot radius.
The neighborhood cat, who had been glaring judgmentally from a fence, took one look at Baxter and fled in terror.
I, meanwhile, was cursing my own life choices while holding a dripping napkin as my only shield.

By the time the party ended, Baxter had more friends than I did.
He received a formal invitation to next week’s garden yoga session.
I received a polite clap on the shoulder and a suggestion that maybe next time I should bring something edible for humans too.
And as we walked home, I realized Baxter had even secured a small fan club on social media — someone had snapped a photo of him mid-splash and posted it with the caption: “Neighborhood Legend.” I had to admit, begrudgingly, that my dog had officially outperformed me in every social category imaginable.

Moral of the Story: Never underestimate the charisma of a dog. Sometimes the best social skills in the room belong to a four-legged critter who judges you silently while eating better than you ever will,
and probably has a larger Instagram following too. 😂

Edited October 18Oct 18 by BrotherKris