Democracy: Served Cold (Like My Coffee)
by BrotherKris

It all started on a completely innocent note — coffee.
Just a simple morning craving, nothing fancy. But you know how it goes — in my world, innocent is basically a trap waiting to happen.

I realized I was outta milk. “No worries,” I thought, “quick shower, throw on some clean clothes, grab the keys, mission accomplished.” Classic Brother Kris morning.
Feeling like a king of the suburbs, ready to conquer the world… or at least the corner shop.

On the way out the gate, I thought, “Eh, might as well peek in the mailbox.
Usually nothing, just dust, disappointment, and bills I don’t care about.”

Today was different. Oh yes, today was different.

There it was. An envelope. Staring at me like a tiny harbinger of doom.

I get in the car, start the engine, let it warm up like any responsible citizen, and decide — might as well open it while I wait. That’s when the first punch landed.

Licence suspended.
Reason? Overdue fine.
Cause of fine? Not voting.

Wait. WHAT?!

I thought I was free. I thought I had choices. Apparently not. Forgetting to tick a box?
That’s a criminal offence in the eyes of the Australian democracy police.
My coffee mission? Immediately downgraded to a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.

I sit there, staring at the letter, muttering obscenities in several languages, imagining politicians in their plush offices, laughing while sipping their lattes and thinking: “That’s right, Kris — we even control your milk.”

Because that’s democracy in 2025, apparently: vote for the liars, or we’ll take away your right to drive. Simple as that.

No one forced them to tell the truth to begin with, right? Politicians lie as if it’s an Olympic sport, and I — me, simple Brother Kris — am expected to vote for the best liar in the bunch.
Nah, I refuse. I choose the Non-Vote. My Non-Vote should be louder than any ballot.
But noooo… in their infinite wisdom, the government decided my rebellion deserves a fine and a suspended licence.

So there I am, no milk, no coffee, and suddenly my daily freedom is hostage to a system that only knows how to extract cash.

Naturally, the next step is a call. I dial the number on the notice, hoping for some mercy, maybe a way to fix this absurd mess without selling my soul.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mercy? No. They’ve got a plan. A payment plan. The only way to get my licence back, my freedom back, and maybe — if I’m lucky — milk back.
And the moment I try to hang up, I realize… nope. Can’t. No escape. They hold the power, I hold… nothing.

So now, I’m trapped. Either I start paying for a fine that shouldn’t exist, or I sit here coffee-less, milk-less, dignity-less, wondering what part of the Constitution explicitly says: “Forget to vote, we take your wheels.”

And just to rub it in, the politicians themselves? Still lying, still scheming, still increasing their perks while I scrape together change for milk and fines. Taxes, promises, lies — all spinning in a circus of insanity, and me? I’m just the juggler’s poor assistant, trying to keep the coffee pot from toppling.

The absurdity doesn’t stop there, oh no. By the time I realize my bank account is emptying faster than a politician’s promises, the milk is gone.
Poof. Vanished. My mission? Failed. My caffeine intake? Zero. My faith in the system? Practically extinct.

And so here I sit, Brothers and Sisters of Hype-HQ, telling you this:
Do not, under any circumstances, forget to vote for politicians who lie, because they’ll remind you — in fines, in licence suspensions, in empty coffee cups — that you’re not really a citizen. You’re a servant. A revenue source. A slave with tastebuds and no milk.

And the moral of this epic saga?

Sometimes, the most heroic acts are simply refusing to kneel. And sometimes… just sometimes… you’ll pay for your stubbornness with a fine and a milkless morning.

But that, my friends…
is freedom. 😉

Smells like "Iced Coffee" and sounds like another Regular old Government Scam to rob citizens of money just because they refuse to vote for People who dont know how to speak the truth